Capitalism anyone?
Calvin at his best!
Has India got THIS talent?
via youtube.com
This video is here ONLY for its brilliant execution! Awesome! :P
10 things to do when you are stuck in traffic at Powai
As I have mentioned in my earlier posts, I travel to work by road and this route goes through Powai. Now Powai, apart from the IIT, Powai lake and
Hiranandani, is also very well known for its infamous peak hour traffic. So, I have come up with 10 things that you can do when you are stuck in
Powai (which you will be).
1. Take a walk. As Abhishek Bachchan says in the idea ads, walk when you talk. Start walking by getting out of the car. If you are in the bus, walk in the bus. There is nothing better than a morning walk surrounded by carbon monoxide.
2. Interact with IITians. This is your chance to interact with the brightest minds in the world! Just walk across the road and talk to any guy you meet there. Strike up a conversation about the latest discovery in astro-physics or the launch of the iPhone 3Gs. You can even walk when you talk! Don't worry about your vehicle. It will still be there when you come back, and so will all the other vehicles around it.
3. Shop! Yes, shop! There are many shops in the vicinity and they are eager to sell. Finish your weekly shopping here so that you don't have to do it on a Sunday. Imagine the sleep you will get on Sundays.
4. Sell! Let us take the previous suggestion to the next step. Get anything that you think is clutter at your home and trade it for something else.
After all one man's garbage is another man's.....well, something. Now that I think of this again, it is a brilliant idea! If this takes off, Powai will
become the biggest flea market in the world! Imagine the gadgets the IIT guys would want to sell there! God I am brilliant!
5. Call the lost ones. Call all those people who you thought you never had time to call. Call them and yell at them for not calling you all this while.
Listen to Aby Baby and walk when you talk. Basically get your social quotient high.
6. Sleep. Catch up on your sleep. Nothing more needs to be said.
7. Boat ride. Go to the Powai lake and take a boat ride. This is excellent exercise and will strengthen your back muscles and arms like nothing else. Come on, so what if the water is dirty?
8. Read up. Buy 4 newspapers and read them cover to cover. Yes, it is possible. Very much so! Moreover, this is bound to help you in the interview you will soon be giving thanks to your late arrival at office everyday.
9. Talk to other drivers. So what if the car next to you is a cab? What is a cab today can be a cute girl tomorrow. Get into the habit. Talk to the
driver next to you about everything except the traffic.
10. Blog. Just like I am doing :P
What the hell is she smoking?!
I am talking about Anupam Ahuja, the loving and loyal wife of the Mr. I-had-sex-with-my-maid-but-with-her-consent Shiney Ahuja!
The maid says she is raped, Shiney says Shiney has not raped, the doctors say she has been raped and the wife says she is proud of Shiney! I mean, what the hell is she smoking?!
I can understand the frame up angle though. Here is what happened according to me. Wife and kid left the country, Shiney got lonely, realised Shiney has two maids, let the older one go home, asked the younger one for a favor, she consented (quite sure with protest however), she then thought she can get something out of this, Shiney threatened her, she went to the cops! I might be being unfair to the girl if she has been raped (and trust me I will hate myself if that is true), but this is what makes sense from all that has come out.
What however I cannot understand is, the wife saying she is proud of Shiney! I mean come on woman! Shiney has accepted that Shiney had sex with the maid and that does not make it right! It is still adultery! Shiney has ACCEPTED it! Or is THAT something you are proud of??
I think she took her wedding vows too seriously. Or maybe she is smoking something. Well in that case can someone tell me what the hell it is that she is smoking?!!
P.S. I have refused to use a pronoun for Shiney as I find the name too funny and love using it again and again :P
Analysing the voter turnout
A lot has been said about the sad voter turnout throughout the country. But has anybody analysed the reason?
Here is one of the analysis I read in The Economic Times yesterday :-)
Ten reasons why South Mumbai did not vote
10. Clashed with Salsa class
9. Election whites not drycleaned
8. No candidate a hottie
7. Tony Jethmalani contesting from suburbs. Sigh
6. No valet parking at booth
5. Spotted servant in queue ahead of us
4. Driver not come
3. Elections over dude, Obama won!
2. No party tackling real issues, eg, reduce Gold Gym rates
1. No home delivery!
Why Delhi turned up to vote
1. They loved the Tata Tea ad
2. They saw the Chopras go out, and thought they must overtake the Lancer from left
3. Bunty’s girlfriend wanted to when they were going out for some Chinese
4. Diwan Saheb on second floor persuaded them. He is jaaaint saactry in DPCC
5. Without stable government, real estate will not revive
6. Election Commission directly asked Pappu. So nice of them
7. Grandfather started talking on Partition, and they had to run
8. Auntyji hoped some TV crew will come and take a soundbite
9.Baba Ramdev said it is good for health
And finally, 10. They had to beat the Bambaiyaas. Izzat ka sawaal hai, hainji?
Lords Of The Roads!
Enough has been said about ST buses and their quality (rather the lack of it) and how they give you a full body massage when you travel by one. Almost-enough has also been said about the need for the revival of the ST service by giving them more money and phasing out the old buses which have been running since the time the Elves left Middle Earth or Aragorn became King of Gondor or Bilbo and Frodo went with the Elves or the Age of Men began in Middle Earth……; I guess you get the drift. I don’t however think enough has been said about the men who drive these deathtraps. So, as a service to humanity and for the purpose of filling this yawning gap between the not-blamed-enough-drivers and the overly-blamed-buses-which-need-more-blame-in-any-case. (Please ignore the grammar)
I am going to use another reference (out of several) to Lord Of The Rings (LOTR). Tolkien, the author of LOTR, created this elaborate fantasy tale around 1938. The story has numerous characters which are part of different lineages, species, community or breed. Every group has something which is unique and special to them. Similarly, according to me, ST Bus Drivers (STBDs) belong to a community which was sired by a man who was the most intimidating mix of Michael Schumacher, Sebastien Loeb and Shrek a.k.a. Wayne Rooney. They drive fast (Schumacher), they drive quick (Loeb) and they generally don’t care about anything moving – including the one they are driving (Shrek a.k.a. Rooney). Now you would ask, what qualification do I possess to be commentating on STBDs? I, my dear imaginary readers, have traveled on ST Buses for more than a year when I used to commute between my home in Thane and my office – Directi – in Malad. Firstly, I should be given a bravery award for traveling in an ST Bus every single day for an entire year. Secondly, I have to be one of the luckiest men alive to have traveled in these buses so often and still be unhurt. Come to think of it, they are quite safe; the only damage I guess is long term due to the beating your nervous system takes. Finally, I think this is enough experience to commentate on STBDs.
To be an STBD, one cannot acquire training or attend driving classes. After all, Legolas didn’t have to go to shooting school to learn to use the bow and arrow. They are born with this quality and eventually find their way to their throne, inside the grimy, dust covered red and brown colored bus. Just the way Aragorn eventually finds his way to Gondor and sits on his throne. STBDs are supposed to wear uniforms which are basically Khaki Shirts and Pants. They however think it is above their dignity to wear something like that, and you should not be surprised to find them driving shirtless; they do however wear white-as-snow vests to be fair to them. I am not sure if there are any rules regarding their footwear, but I am yet to see an STBD driving with anything on his feet.
These people are the masters of the beasts that they drive and their beasts in turn are the Lords of all such beasts. Much like Gandalf, who was the master of his horse Shadowfax – the Lord of Horses. Only they know the kind what gestures made by their arms and feet will incite what kind of response from their beast. All rules of automotive engineering are put to shame by these great Lords. Exactly the way in which The One Ring defied the laws of physics, making the wearer invisible. I am yet to see an STBD change gears by releasing/depressing the clutch (i.e. pressing it with the foot – ironically this is when the clutch is released or depressed). They just stop revving and bang the gear into its proper slot. I cannot imagine how a 1,000 year old vehicle can take that kind of beating; if only they made stuff like that now.
STBDs also control who gets onto their bus and who doesn’t. If they don’t like something about you, or your clothes are too nice and they are jealous, they just won’t stop for you at the bus stop. You can wave all you want and stand in the middle of the road if you want to, but they won’t stop if they don’t want you in. They have a very strict passenger selection process, so I have heard. Another brilliant piece of engineering on these beasts are the suspensions. I don’t know if they were intended to be so robust or it is just sheer luck that they last one whole day and beyond. The punishment they go through is equivalent to the punishment Smeagol was given by Sauron; and in his case, Smeagol relented during the torture. On the other hand, these suspensions I am sure are much stronger than those on the Hummer even. I don’t see how else it could take the torture dished out by the STBDs every single minute that they are at the helm.
I guess you would agree that these men are truely outstanding.
These Men are unlike any other.
They are the best of the best of the rest.
They are the Lords Of The Roads!
Aditya Kandala
Something that I do a lot of is think! Hence this blog, to document some of the random thoughts that go through my head.
I am not gifted in any literary way, so please be gentle with your criticism.
Hope you enjoy reading some of the things I put up. :)
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